RealVail.com added to Signal chat about Trump plan to confiscate trophy homes in ski towns

RealVail.com over the weekend was added to a Signal messenger app text string between Trump cabinet secretaries discussing a housing plan aimed at high-end resort areas that will apparently be part of an executive order President Donald Trump will sign Wednesday on “Liberation Day”.

The text string, initiated by U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary Scott Turner, spoke of a plan dubbed “Operation Trophy Home” that is aimed at confiscating the ski, beach and lakefront homes of wealthy property owners deemed “insufficiently loyal” to Trump.

RealVail.com was added — apparently by mistake in a move reminiscent of the raging “Signalgate” Yemen bombing scandal – by U.S. Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy, whose role in Operation Trophy Home seems to be securing alternate housing for Trump opposition figures who are ousted from their homes.

“So, if Elon can get production up enough, we’ll start putting those people in Teslas to live in,” Duffy wrote in the text string. “Of course, they have to pay for them, and if they need more room for their kids that get kicked out of college by Marco, they’ll have to buy more Cybertrucks!”

The Marco mention is a reference to Secretary of State Marco Rubio, who has been busy revoking visas from lucrative foreign students deemed anti-American, or, more importantly, anti-Trump, while attending DEI-obsessed, liberal and largely leftist American universities.

Rubio, who was also on the Signalgate chat, chimed in on Operation Trophy Home: “Love it! I want something in a mountain town, hopefully in a gated community. I’ve got the beach thing covered!” That’s an apparent reference to his roots in Florida.

“Slow down, guys, I get first pick,” HUD’s Turner wrote. “I need an Aspen place, and there’s no way those fucking lefties can prove they voted for our guy. I’m talkin’ 20,000 square feet, ski-in, ski-out!”

Interior Secretary Doug Burgum, whose Signal handle is “FireSmokey!”, wrote: “This Tesla-habitation plan is brilliant. We are more than willing to let them all park in wilderness areas. Might need Elon to build a few thousand more for all the public lands workers we’re shitcanning.”

The leaked news of the latest legally questionable Trump EO drew tepid, half-hearted and even conciliatory responses from Democratic leadership. One Dem official whined, “We have no power to stop this so why would we even try? Their in-broad-daylight thievery of private property is almost admirable in its audacity; too bad we don’t have the balls to do something like this.”

The move to confiscate second, third and even fourth homes of Hollywood elites and the few corporate executives stupid enough to stand up to Trump, or at least fail to bend the knee, may be retaliation for last year’s socialist takeover of similar homes for workforce housing – a wildly AOC- and Bernie-adjacent plan first revealed by RealVail.com on April 1, 2024.

Asked to comment for this story, the White House responded, “You’re kidding, right? Like we would say jack shit to a pinko punk like you.”

Donald Trump Jr. was in Aspen over the weekend, as confirmed in a toxic comment string on Eagle County Classifieds, scouting out his own ski pad. While there, he apparently spotted a Canadian goose in a local lake (pictured) and demanded it immediately be deported. Strangely, there were no immigrant laborers nearby to capture the bird.

Trump Aviation’s custom Boeing 757 (pictured below) was parked at the Eagle County Regional Airport over the weekend, likely to whisk Donald Jr. to Greenland at a moment’s notice for frontline G-Day duty (bone spurs permitting), but possibly to go fetch Jr.’s dad to sign Tuesday’s executive order in his newly confiscated ski home.

DOT Secretary Duffy, when asked to explain why he added a reporter to a Signal chat about a pending Trump EO, replied simply, “I guess because you write so much about trains that are never coming to Colorado, I figured you were my rail undersecretary or something. But whatever, like laws about classified plans or official records matter at all anymore. This is Trump’s America, you pathetic little shit!”

Ski-town mayors in Eagle County didn’t really condemn the Trump plan. The mayor of Vail told RealVail.com: “I could give a bighorn sheep’s ass who’s not staying in all those giant, dark McMansions during ski season as long as when they do come, they can get over Vail Pass in their giant Hummer limos and a freaking Wal-Mart truck isn’t sideways across the interstate with some fat-ass trucker in shorts trying to put chains on and all of us stuck behind him looking at his butt crack.” The mayor recently doubled what he calls the “butt-crack tax” on chainless truckers.

The mayor of Avon asked what the mayor of Vail said and then told RealVail.com: “The exact opposite of Vail. We don’t mind trucker-plumber crack and we only want Soros-lovers and George Clooney in our McMansions. Come and get us, Donny Boy!”

An Eagle County official said simply, “We’ll need to study this some more … and maybe form a regional authority on proper trophy home redistribution.”

Reached by email for a comment, an Eagle County Republican Party official wrote: “FAKE NEWS! FAKITY, FAKITY, FAKITY, FAKER FACE, FAKE OFF AND DIE!!!!!!”

Editor’s note: Happy April Fools’ Day?